High expectations.

Dude.  I had NO idea what I was doing - in any regard.  LBR?!!

April 22, 1999
"Just the other day I was like, 'I saw him four times today.  And once, he turned around and looked at me.' Or, 'He waved at me today.'  And this meaningless bullshit would make my entire day.  I'm such a dumbass.  So he apparently has Marie now, which is good beause she was always nice to me last year.
[Some more bitching about another guy I liked.]
I'm not pretty enough or have enough personality to be invited to prom.  I just want to talk to Bruce but I don't think I can.  This life is a rolling snowball going downhill and I coudln't intercept it if I wanted to.  Greg has changed.  And Ken, God, he makes me want to just die right along with him.  Above everything, I can't seem to write at all.  No poems will come and all my stories are shit.  I just was rejected from the London Review of Books.  I must've read that slip they returned to me a hundred times."