Day three: making that money.

Feb. 25th, 2001
"This is the new Amber...
And I have suddenly become someone new and more exciting...just by reading a book.  I read Dreaming in Cuban by Christine Garcia and learned a little bit about listening to myself.  The day I finished it, I drove to PoFolks, applied, and was hired.  I applied to FIU and I have a vibe (...) that I'll get in.  And I stopped pursuing Matt and guys in general and just hung out with my thoughts.  I picked up my guitar, fell head over heels for Gary (it's really weird how that only kicks in when I'm around him - otherwise I try to get as many guys' attentions as I can. Weird.)  Started waiting tables (the tips are rocking so far) and I got my prom dress stuff all in gear.  Speaking of prom, this guy named Juan asked me but I don't know...he's a cutie, yes, but kind of short, and I don't really know him.  So we'll become friends!  Then maybe...so for now he's waiting and I'm thinking...
There's this other guy at work...but from here on, I won't even think twice about him...
So for now, I'm just trying to go with what I know - just feel things out and go from there.
I'm excited!  Graduation is only about three months away!"

So, a little note on this journal entry and the "new" Amber.   What a bitch!  I was totally dating Gary at the time, and had been for many months if not a year.  I actually have no concept of how long we dated.  I actually just remembered last night that he dated my best friend before me, and she dumped him, so he dated me.  Grod!

PoFolks was this shitty chicken restaurant - Southern style fast food, kinda.  I made probably $40 a night and I thought I was banking.

The "other guy" at work was Nate, the guy I ended up breaking up with Gary for, who turned out to be one crazy motherfucker.  For instance, I was 18 and thought he was 18 because that's what he told me, but found out months after we'd been dating that he was actually 21.  I thought he was at the junior college taking classes when he was actually a high school drop out.  He constantly broke into my house and stole from me, once brought a stripper over (she was "just his friend") and I wasn't even home at the time, and I walked in to them drinking fucking Smirnoffs in my living room....etc.  The list could go on, but that is a story for another day.

The point is, I had a great boyfriend that really cared about me and I totally blew him off because he bored me to death.  I was so anxious for a change that I didn't care who or what I shed in the process.  What a meanie.

"Dear you,
Why are you so mean?"